Thoughts on pregnancy

Wilson's birthday post is coming I just need to upload the picture.

Pregnancy I must admit is one of the hardest and longest 9 months of my life and because of everything that happened last year this pregnancy feels like it has lasted a year and nine months.

Lately I have been thinking about this a lot. Maybe it is because for the last month and a half someone in my house has been sick and inevitably I get sick as well which makes pregnancy harder. Or maybe it is that I am now 27 weeks and my body is tired and achy and ready to be done. Whatever the reason I find myself thinking about how I can't wait until February.

I have been trying to not only think of the hard things but also about the great things about pregnancy so here you have it.

1. I will get a baby out of all of this! I honestly can not wait to go through labor and see my sweet little girl. To get to hold her in my arms. I can't wait for Ryan to hold her and for Wilson to finally understand what we are talking about.
2. I love when Ryan comes home and puts his hands on my belly and gives me a kiss. And when he asks how all three of us are doing.
3. Feeling the baby move around. I love the reassurance it gives me that she is doing okay.

Now the hard stuff.

1. That people just don't understand how terrible I feel. I know that a lot of people have been pregnant and felt miserable, but honestly I think every pregnancy is different and different for every person. No one really knows how I feel.
2. I get so frustrated by people who are not sick during pregnancy. I know life has its challenges, but wow this isn't easy. Even worse is when people love pregnancy and openly tell you. It makes me feel terrible for feeling so terrible.
3. I hate that none of my clothes fit or are comfortable and that means maternity too. I honestly have never been more comfortable in a dress. I just want to be comfortable.
4. Honestly worrying that something might go wrong between now and delivery. I don't really have any reason to worry. Things went really smoothly with Wilson, but because of all the trouble we had last year I can't help but worry that there might be something waiting to happen.
5. I think worst of all I really hate that people are judging me for the things that I can't do. I had tried really hard to figure out my limits and the limits for my family and do what is best for all of us. Which inevitably means I have to give up some of the things I could do before. I wish people wouldn't pass judgement.

I must admit I really struggled if I should write this post, but it really was therapeutic. Even if no one reads it at least I understand a little more about how I feel.

I really am excited to welcome this new little spirit into our family and lives. I love her unconditionally already. I can't wait for February to get here, but I know it isn't my timeline so I will just keep plugging along and doing my best to take come of my body and hers as well.